..of a peerless nincompoop

Communication Skills

Scene 1

Babes are a rare sight in our male-dominated* company. So rare that the ladies’ restroom in my floor doesn’t know what it is supposed to be. For us, its just another gents’ restroom. So the extra energy and life that my floor gets at the sight of babes is justifiable.

We were so excited when two babes occupied a corner of our guy-dominated floor that the traffic through that corner was unusually high. They were sitting in the same cubicle since morning. A dude who sits right opposite to their cubicle tried to build a conversation after much hesitation and contemplation.

“What are you doing in the same cubicle?”

I guess they didn’t hear the first word (“What”).

He is hospitalized! 😀

*There was some hidden agenda not to hire ladies. I guess it was in the best interest of the company.

Scene 2

A friend of mine and myself went to the RTO office today. He had his driving test scheduled at 11.30 AM. To make things smooth, he had gone through some agent. They can get driving license for people who can’t even distinguish between a car and an autorickshaw.

After about an hour of waiting, he finally came to us. He pointed to a guy in pink shirt standing in the third floor of the RTO office building (it’s some 100 mts from where we stand) and said “^%$^%$%$%^$^ pink shirt *&*&^*^*&^&^^”. The ciphered text was in Hindi. Since my Hindi proficiency is well-known, I generally switch to ignore mode when people talk in hindi. But now I had this friend with me who understood what he said.

We were told to follow that guy in pink shirt. There we go, with all the information needed to trace him. We just need to find that guy in pink shirt in a crowded building (as if pink shirt is as rare as a blue-colored mammoth!!). We started our mission like troops chasing an enemy. We reached the third floor in no time and located the guy. He was moving so fast that we had to hurry not to lose sight of him. Dark corridors, left turns followed by right turns, fast straights, until he vanished somewhere in the crowd. We were lost, in a maze not knowing how to come out. But troops are no strangers to such situations and they have radio equipment(read mobile phone) at their disposal. My friend contacted the base station (read agent) for further steps.

I sensed a blunder when the phone call ended with a sheepish grin on his face. We were in fact told to wait where that guy in pink shirt was standing. The mistake the agent made – he assumed that we know Hindi :-?.

Soon we were waiting where we were supposed to wait, with an artificial calm on our faces and looking around to make sure no one else has noticed it. 😀


July 6, 2006 - Posted by | On the lighter side


  1. :))

    Comment by alamels | July 6, 2006 | Reply

  2. :-?.
    I guess the second one won’t be a surprise to you, given its me and Hindi :D.

    Comment by kv | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  3. Why dont you publish a book ?
    Kiron Stories !
    Will be a hot sell..
    (Please try to limit it to some 500 pages..)

    Comment by Rat | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  4. 😕

    Comment by kv | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  5. how very male chauvanistic
    or whtever the hell the spelling is.
    useless fellow

    Comment by Lakshmi | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  6. @laks
    gee 😀

    Comment by kv | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  7. @Lakshmi,

    Why are you such a killjoy.
    And try to get the spelling of whatever correct in the first place.

    Comment by Vimal | July 7, 2006 | Reply

  8. “The mistake the agent made – he assumed that we know Hindi”
    -the mistake you made, asssume dear friend is any better!!

    Comment by Lakshmi | July 10, 2006 | Reply

  9. @laks
    u said it :D.

    my friend, did u hear this?

    Comment by kv | July 10, 2006 | Reply

  10. lol at the guy who dropped dead!! hhihihi…. poor thing. So you guys basically never ever talk to any girls?? lol again.

    and pink guy was soo funny!

    Comment by Amarula | July 12, 2006 | Reply

  11. yes yes.. we rarely talk to girls 😀
    ask rat if you still have doubts abt tht 🙂

    Comment by kv | July 13, 2006 | Reply

  12. u call female s/w engineers “babes” ?? 😀

    Comment by sand | July 13, 2006 | Reply

  13. @sand
    no.. not all of them 😀
    only a selected few 😀

    Comment by kv | July 13, 2006 | Reply

  14. But Sand, dont you think that is an unprofessional attitude and a dismal work culture, that our dear friend Kiron has in him? 😀

    Comment by Rat | July 14, 2006 | Reply

  15. @rat
    poda decent maramaakrii.. 😛

    Comment by kv | July 16, 2006 | Reply

  16. chayyy…

    aabhaasanmarade koottam aanalloo…
    enne polulla decent payyanmaarkku ivide voice ille?

    Comment by Geo | July 17, 2006 | Reply

  17. etho oru chaaya-kachavadakkaaran vannittundu..
    entho voice enno decent enno okke pich-n-pay parayunnu
    odichu vittere

    Comment by Rat | July 17, 2006 | Reply

  18. @geo
    yes yes.. geo pole decent aaya othiri aalkkar undu.. central jail-il poyi nokkiya mathi 😛

    Comment by kv | July 19, 2006 | Reply

  19. All of you should read the complete content of and then continue fighting …

    My 5-cent advice regarding girls – Popular girls are incapable of giving their affection alone; you will invariably gain a few enemies in the way. Sad but true.

    Comment by George Scaria | August 2, 2006 | Reply

  20. Da,

    Can you enable RSS feed in your blog.

    Comment by Vimal | August 3, 2006 | Reply

  21. @ scaria
    good advice [:D]

    da its already enabled. check the side panel.

    Comment by kv | August 4, 2006 | Reply

  22. oops! a few days of non-stop orkutting has affected my thought process. please read the “[:D]” in the above comment as “:D” 😀

    Comment by kv | August 4, 2006 | Reply

  23. Ok. What I want is a live bookmark then. Can RSS be used for the same?

    Comment by Vimal | August 5, 2006 | Reply

  24. pls do figure out how to add pictures on wordpress and let me know.
    also, i wil give u my passwrd n username, pls blogroll urself! i hav no clue how to do it.

    Comment by alamels | August 5, 2006 | Reply

  25. ha ha kiron! You are in better condition than me – a few days of intense orkutting left me so disoriented that I quit it promptly for fear of sanity 😉

    As for hindi, I made two two-day trips to mumbai where I learned more hindi in those few days than in a total 6 years of schooling. Afterwards I strongly believe that there is an invisible Guardian angel for drunkards, lovers and hindi ignoramuses.

    Comment by George Scaria | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  26. @vimal.
    It’s very simple. Just use the RSS feed to create the bookmark. Just let me know in case it doesn’t work.

    Comment by kv | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  27. @alamels
    will mail you how to do it. btw, nice to see that you learned the “art” of blogrolling by yourself.

    Comment by kv | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  28. @Scaria
    I was in Pune for a year. Yet I didn’t learn Hindi. My reasoning is very simple. Why should I learn Hindi when Punekars show no interest to learn Malayalam? After all, both need to communicate with each other, no? 😀
    Somehow, I survived there 😉

    Comment by kv | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  29. Kiron, do you think I didn’t reason along similar lines? All learning was without any co-operation from my side. I must say they are efficient teachers than the kannads or tamils – I did not learn a single additional word in their languages.

    But for sure there exists a Guardian Angel.

    Comment by George Scaria | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  30. eeswara 29 commentsoo :O..! i hardly hav so many comments on all my posts pt together!

    Comment by Alamelu | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  31. @Alamelu
    Its not 29, its 30 including your comment. Btw, it’s 31 now. This is not for the sake of commenting though.
    I too think so. Otherwise how could I survive this long 😀

    Comment by kv | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  32. For this sudden increase in comment count, you should thank your old buddy ..

    Comment by George Scaria | August 6, 2006 | Reply

  33. Thanks buddy 😀

    Comment by kv | August 6, 2006 | Reply

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  36. Scaria, my friend was in puna for a few months, she loved it, i want to go too… how was it for you?

    Comment by aquabot | June 5, 2008 | Reply

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